When difficult conversation are had

Today was another hard day , as we had a chat with pallative care nurse , who was assessing  my Husband for pain relief . Conversations around his progressive  illness , and when he was asked the qu tion when the illness progressive,  where he would like his care to taken . That hit me like a ton of bricks  ,  how do you process that information and remain strong , any advise please . I am very mindful that this is not about me  

  • So sorry to read about your situation.
    No-one says you have to be strong but, for your husband’s  sake, you need to be practical. I’ve been through this twice and it is difficult.
    He needs to make an informed decision about this, which needs to be made after discussion with you. 
    In an ideal World, would he prefer his end of life care at home, or in a hospice? There are good arguments for both.
    Is a full Hospice at Home service available in your area? 
    If there is, who will coordinate the care? My Mum’s GP did most of this, but my Dad spent a lot of time chasing up MacMillan, Marie Curie, the GP, the practice nurses and the pharmacy. 
    Do you have room to isolate him - you’ll need somewhere to sleep too, not easy with a 24/7 stream of nurses coming and going at all hours. 
    Are you physically able to cope with him at home. Not “would you like to” but “are you really able to”? If you aren’t, it could result in sub-standard care for him and exhaustion for you - on top of the emotional anguish and grief.
    Do you have an extended network of family and friends who can offer help … and I don’t just mean tea and sympathy. 
    The answer to all these questions should help him decide. 

    Good luck to you both.
    Dave

  • Offline in reply to davek

    Hey Dave

    Thank you , for your advise  bear all these nuggets of advise , when need . It's given me more  focal points to look out for .

    Thank you 

    Anna