I am a carer for my husband

My husband has always been controlling been married 50 years never new what mood he would be in not talk for days always has to be in control for several years now he has had prostrate and bone cancer and he has got worse towards me saying he won’t be here long and I don’t care and I don’t look after him I cook and cater for him go too all appointments with him his family don’t want to know he is two different people in front of everyone you wouldn’t think its same person when I tell my family members they find it hard to believe because they see the meek side of him I am at my wits end

  • Hi Cazzes,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. I'm so sorry to hear of these difficulties and the way you are being treated, this sounds like a lot to be dealing with.

    It sounds like you are being an incredible support, despite this behaviour. It's a little difficult to advise without knowing more about your husband's situation - only to say that there should be a limit to what you can and should put up with, and it's really important that you are OK too and that you are supported as well.

    If you are being treated badly, and in particular if you are worried about what to expect, you can always seek help from Women's Aid, who have information and also a live chat support function to ask any questions.

    I also hope this forum can be of some support to you. We are always here for you whenever you may need it. There may be others on the forum with similar experience or advice to offer, and so hopefully you'll get some more replies to your post soon.

    You can also browse or search the forum (using the bar at the top of the page) to find other discussions and people to connect with, if you'd like to.

    Do take care of yourself. Keep speaking to others and keep asking for support.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hi Cazzes

    First of all well done reaching out 

    It takes courage when you are living with a partner who is being abusive towards you.

    You are deserving of better 

    Second contact Macmillian support line or CRuK they are good at this sort of thing 

    Obviously from a safe place / phone if your husband is controlling that ?

    Tell them the truth of the situation 

    Also your local area should have a womens helpline Womens aid can help( has the moderator said)

    Or your local Mind can support you too 

    and if you feel in immediate danger leave

    Or call 999

    Your husband is not the most important person You Are

    Sending woman power .RB