Hi Jach11, 

I am so sorry to hear your husband is receiving palliative care for metastatic prostate cancer. Watching him being so sick constantly unable to eat and suffering with fatigue must be so hard to bear especially as no medication seems to help. Perhaps it might be worth bringing it up with his medical team to see if there is anything they can do to make him more comfortable. This is no doubt taking a toll on your mental health and having to be at home all the time when you are used to having a work routine with your days spent exclusively looking after him is going to make you feel even more exhausted and drained. As you said rightly, his quality of life is not great but yours is also very much affected by this and it's not surprising you are feeling stressed and fatigued mentally and physically. You are definitely not selfish and I would say that making sure you look after yourself and that you feel ok yourself is a real priority so that you can then look after him without feeling so low and so exhausted. We have information on our website on taking care of yourself where you will find some good tips for looking after yourself. Caring for the carer really is vital and I would suggest you get in touch with your GP maybe to discuss how you are feeling and how your mental health has been impacted and I am sure your doctor will be able to help you feel more energised so don't hesitate to talk things through with your GP. Have a look too at the Carers UK site where you will find a wealth of information to help you get through this difficult time. You can also read more on our website on mental health when caring for someone with cancer and I hope that you will find the information in there useful. 

You are not alone though and I wanted you to know there are others here who find themselves in a similar situation looking after a loved one with cancer who is in palliative care and I hope that they will be along shortly to share their experience with you. 

We're thinking of you during this terribly difficult time and I hope that you get to speak to someone soon about how you are feeling at the moment and that things improve quickly. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator