Hi Pippin2014, 

I am so sorry to hear about your husband's bladder cancer diagnosis and that he has been bleeding since having the operation to remove the tumour. As you mention he was passing clots of blood, I think it's important to mention this bleeding to his doctor or medical team just to make sure it is to be expected two weeks after the operation or if you notice for example that the bleeding gets worse in the night don't hesitate to ring 111 or call 999 if you are concerned. I hope things improve for him quickly and that he recovers well and fully from the operation. 

As you say, it is understandable that he is feeling very low at the moment and it can be why he is bottling things up a bit and it's not easy for him to talk about his feelings. This is all very well explained in our information on how to support someone with cancer - there is even a nice short video with tips from people with cancer about talking to someone with cancer which I hope you will find inspiring. 

But as there's nothing quite like hearing from the personal stories of others who have also been affected by bladder cancer, I will now let them come and say hello and share their thoughts on how best to support a loved one with cancer. 

Wishing your husband a quick recovery from the operation and I hope that the bleeding has since stopped and he is getting better every day. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Thank you so much for you kind and supportive words Lucy as they mean so much and are so helpful xxxx

Hi Courts

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my concerns  It’s been a few months now since diagnosis and he seems a lot more settled now thankfully. He’s just finished a 6 week course of immunotherapy and we now have to wait a few weeks til they can do a urther citoscopy to see if the treatment is working . I’d this something your dad had ? How is he doing now and can I ask what treatment he’s been having ? My husbands cancer is very aggressive and e’s been told it’s not curable as will return but thankfully it hasn’t spread  

sending the kindest thoughts 

Cathy xxx

Hi Cathy, 

That's really great to hear that things have settled and your husband is receiving treatment, I hope the results will bring you some positive news during this horrific time. 

My dad's story is not a successful one unfortunately. I am more than happy to share the details with you, and please remember that every person and their journey are different, but I certainly wouldn't want to cause you any upset in sharing my dad's journey with yourself. However, if this is something you would like to hear, I am happy to go into the details of the treatment that he has been on. 

 hugs, Courts xxx

Oh goodness I’m so so sorry to read this Courts! 
in turn I wouldn’t want to upset you by asking you  to share your dads information if it is too painful for you, but if you feel able to do so i would very much appreciate it. 
I find myself searching for information and always come up with the same info. You’re the first person I’ve had contact with who has experience of this and I’m desperate to know as much as possible whether positive or negative as I believe that knowing all aspects can only add to my “armour”

Cathy xxxx

I will send you a private message xxx 

Thanks Courts xx

Hi Courts, I don’t seem to be able to find your PM 

Hey, have you received any of my messages? I have sent you a couple xxx