My dad's prostate cancer is treatable. I went with my dad to radiotherapy myself today. While sitting in the waiting area once he'd gone in for treatment, I felt this sudden anticipatory grief generally. I don't know if it's because you're in the waiting room with many others in similar and very different situations or what. 

Some alarms go off and I wonder what they are. I heard a radiologist tell another patient who was about to be seen they had a few "medicams", I think I heard as there was a delay for many people. Beeps I wondered if they were coming from his room. I've not been in the hospital supporting him on my own before and it just seemed to take a little longer than it had the first time I went with him on the first day of treatment with my mum. I hear these bleeps elsewhere and feel like the wait is longer and get anxious. I try to think like if it's a flight attendant on a plane and they all look panicked that's when you worry if you know what I mean. But others walking by didn't look panicked. 

I later found out there were problems with the machine and it needed a reset so that made the treatment process longer. 

When dad finally came out once today's treatment was complete, I felt this sense of relief. My mum's with him tomorrow and Friday. 

Tomorrow, is the end of the first week of treatment, with 4 weeks left.