im so sorry to hear about your husband. It’s such a frightening and heartbreaking time. I’m just at the beginning of my husband’s oesophageal cancer,many test and meeting. He has a t3nomo and is being assessed for surgery. The surgery sounds a lot and the chemotherapy before sounds like he will be fairly ill. I’m kinda like you feeling so overwhelmed by it all. Trying v hard to be positive but really scared inside. I too lost my Mum to stage 4 ovarian cancer. It doesn’t seem fair for us. I’m trying to just take things one step at a time. I’ve downloaded a meditation app to try and stop my head overthinking. Maybe that’s an idea for you to try. I think if we can find just wee things to take us away even only in our minds for a wee while that would do us good. Our children are grown so that’s a blessing,still hard on them. I’m sending you healing vibes and a big hug and know that you are not alone in how you are feeling.