Bless you. I’m currently caring for my mum and palliative care has just been put in place as mum doesn’t want to go to hospital or further any tests but from an xray, her spine is showing fractures and lesions. I’ve been on at the council for almost a year for a stairlift and shower, they are not moving themselves even though my mum is deteriorating. Everything has been a battle and continues to be a battle. Palliative care nurses are even chasing the council. It’s like you don’t get time to process anything because everything is a constant battle. Have you tried to speak to her GP about hospice coming in. It seems to me it’s only them that properly know what’s what and can take these kind of pressures off x 

Thank you for your reply  I'm so sorry you too are going through this, I have spoke to her gp and she was asking if I was OK and if I needed support too as I was crying about the prognosis and I became tearful. I'm trying to stay strong but it's hard, she's wasting away and struggling with seeing my like this xx

It’s a massive rollercoaster. It’s like your ok one minute then anxiety fills you in the next, I honestly know how you feel. I completely broke down at Christmas and am up and down with it all. A shadow was found on my mums lung about 5 months ago- she completely shut down and refused all scans, the lot. I have to think on my feet as it’s her wishes not to know. I’m completely in the dark with all of it. I managed to persuade her to go to her GP 2 weeks ago as her pain is getting worse. Her gp wanted her to have an xray to check for spondylitis which my mum agreed to go for, that’s when I found out of the fracture and lesions. Xx

Bless, my mum started this journey July 2024, bowel cancer, surgery, chemo and less than weeks after chemo in January. Diagnosed with lung, liver and stomach the  cancer, aggressive. We have been let down massively. I so wished she had the stomo and we wouldn't be in this mess. She was too weak to tolerate any chemo now or the surgery to remove the bowel. Only left to her now at this stage was palleive care. She wishes to die at home  I understand that but my mum didn't think she would end up like this and she wants to die and we have no option to end her life  we have to watch her wasting away before our eyes. 

Devastating but what choice do we have, she's too weak now and only takes medication through her syringe driver.

I so wish I could take it all away and back to her usual bubbly loving self

 She's was on holiday in December in benidorm. Its rapid but not able to make memories like we had arranged to once she left hospital. Not a chance of this now. She's devastated and so are we but we carnt show it. Thank you for listening. Wish you all the luck and well wishes.

1. Emma x

So sorry to hear your going through this with mum. 

Sadly my mum passed away in April last year. 

We tried to help her and her wishes were to stay at home. Due to medical reasons we were unable to do this, we did everything and the carers were great but my mum didn't want them in and we struggled to wash her. At this stage she wasn't eating and mum was being sick with bowel contents. She went to Nottingham hospice and she gave up, within a week she passed with family around her.

I do wish my mum would of gone to the hospice sooner because the care they gave would of helped her with medication and her illness and symptoms would have been managed alot better as they were medically trained me and my daughter were not.

I would suggest making calls to the palliative care team, ask them to come out and explain everything, they will look at the care she is receiving and offer solutions .

If your unsure how and who to talk too call your mums gp and they can also offer help.

I requested a Dr visited my mum and they got the care teams involved.

Good luck. All the best 

Emma xx