Hello Mannisone,

  sorry to say l completely recognise this scenario.l write as someone with personal experience not medically trained being a recovered bowel cancer survivor.

It would be nice to think that the bowel would heal just like a cut, but that is only part of the issue insomuch that it is all interconnected to work together as a unit in harmony, indeed it had done so up until surgery disrupted that by removal of a section,rejoining two parts that were previously on distant nodding terms,not a symbiotic close telationship. 

Go back to where you started and remember the stages the bowel went through as it learned to operate as one, no control,nappies, potty training until eventually it all clicked into gear to work in unison.You accepted that that as normal,but somehow find it difficult to get get your head around why when you change the dynamic it would not go back to the start and have to start all over again and learn how to operate. 

Once you accept that , you then have to accept to a greater or lesser degree depending on the extent ad positioning of the surgical disruption that the bowel may never return to operating as before, and also the time it will take to adjust to a new operating system. Narrowing of bowel due to scar tissue causing irrititation fom bowel movements.

Some will sail through, others will struggle long term, most will manage with slight adjustments. To give you an idea,in my case it took 5 years for the bowel to return to civilisation, l am ten years on and it is still changing and adjusting, l have now had 6 episodes of the bowel shutting down and blocking over that time,

Your friends function will improve, and their patience could well be tested in doing so, but over time they and their bowel will learn to live with each other if only because they will have no choice, its still very much early days although l appreciate when you are in the active firing zone it does not feel that way,

l wish your friend well

David