Cancer Research UK main site
  • Replies 5 replies
  • Views 2413 views
  • Users 0 members are here

Coping with raising a child with a father who has cancer?

Mcgee76
Offline

Hello Forum

My 52 year husband was diagnosed with Colon Cancer in March 2025, it has been devastating as he was always a fit and health conscious man. He is currently receiving Palliative care and we are grateful with each day that we have with him.

It has been the hardest thing to cope with, as he is my best friend, lover, support/coach and another breadwinner! But most importantly he is a wonderful father and active dad to our 12 year old son he is also a only child.

My son is devasted, we both are!  I can see he gets anxious and has started to get panic attacks. His school has been supportive. However at this age in a pre-teen boy, he really needs his dad. I am trying to get him some counselling help, but there is so much information out there - any suggestions?

We both cry at night, I am proud of my boy, he has so much to bare at a young age and recently he did well on his school report, even under pressure he tries very hard to cope.

What can I do to help as a mum? what can I say? I feel so helpless? Do I push him to try and continue school? He has missed week of school since the confirmation of cancer news. 

Any parents out there who is going through this at the moment?

Thanks

Parents
  • Offline

    Hi, i'm not a parent but a child that is going through what your son is experencing. My dad has stage 4 terminal lung cancer and was diganosed when i was 14 and I am now almost 16. I think the best advice I can give to you for your son is keep talking to him and updating him with what is happening because I find that it helps me when i know what is happening. I also suggest that you continue with school as it is my safe space where I feel disconnected from being the girl with a dying dad. I got pre-bereavement cousiling that was set up by the school but that didn't work for me as I find sharing my feelings difficult. I think that young carers is the place where i found the most support as there are people with the same situation as me but I wasn't forced to share my emotions.

    I hope this helps and I hope that your son, you and his dad all get through this tough time.

    P.S sorry for the bad spelling I have dyslexia 

Reply
  • Offline

    Hi, i'm not a parent but a child that is going through what your son is experencing. My dad has stage 4 terminal lung cancer and was diganosed when i was 14 and I am now almost 16. I think the best advice I can give to you for your son is keep talking to him and updating him with what is happening because I find that it helps me when i know what is happening. I also suggest that you continue with school as it is my safe space where I feel disconnected from being the girl with a dying dad. I got pre-bereavement cousiling that was set up by the school but that didn't work for me as I find sharing my feelings difficult. I think that young carers is the place where i found the most support as there are people with the same situation as me but I wasn't forced to share my emotions.

    I hope this helps and I hope that your son, you and his dad all get through this tough time.

    P.S sorry for the bad spelling I have dyslexia 

Children
  • Offline in reply to 67redbird

    Thank you so much from giving your perspective, it is really helpful and insightful. Its funny my son can't talk to his dad about his illness but he can talk to me about his worries and you are right, keeping him upto date about everything going on, is better than hiding stuff from my son. It is true he finds talking to the young mentors in his school has helped (he doesn't get counselling at this school but they have a supportive 'inclusion' groups where they can talk to older students and carers in confidence). At the moment, his dad is going through chemo treatment and is coping well. Thank you again for sharing and I hope you and your family are well.

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.