Feel alone with frightening situation...

Hello .....I  have posted recently first time....but what I didn't say was that I'm being tested for cancer myself, but I also have a beautiful, wonderful 45 year old daughter who is going through much worse...I  know what the outcome could be and I am so scared I feel sick.

My daughter has had Ulcerative colitis for 23 years.She has been hospitalised several times for severe flare ups, and often struggling on a daily basis with the pain, bleeding, diarrhoea. Yet she has held down her career. She is the bravest girl I know, makes light of things.

We knew that after a long history of UC cancer can develop. Recently she developed such a severe flare up.  Just non stop bleeding and pain. Immodium wasn't helping, so she was taking codeine every day to bung herself up just so she could get her 5 year old son to school and back, even then emergency taxis were needed.

She kept trying to get a drs appointment, also get through to her consultant. With the burden on the NHS it  was a nightmare, finally the IBD ,nurse arranged for her to have IV treatment,  a steroid drip in hospital.  Taking steroids by mouth as she had done over the years would not be enough this time.

Fast forward she has been on the IV steroids for 7 days now.  They also kept her in as it was too severe to treat in a day. An Xray was done, and today a sigmoidoscopy, poor girl, but she is well used to the colonoscopies....and is now awaiting an MRI.

She said some drs came to see her and said it can't  be "just" the UC, and they have taken a bunch of biopsies as they suspect "something else"...

My heart fell into my stomach. If it's  cancer that will mean what I've dreaded all these years....surgery, chemo etc and quite likely a colostomy. And maybe the loss of her waistlength red hair. I know hair grows back but it will be a horrible thing to happen...

If it turns out to be cancer I will encourage her to join this friendly and kind forum...but do any of you have experience of a stoma?  Sorry this is so long. Sorry.

If she dies, I  can't survive it......

  • Hello, mama54,

    Firstly, I want to say how incredibly brave you are to share such a difficult and emotional journey. It’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed with the weight of everything you're facing right now. The worry for your daughter, the uncertainty of your own health... it's a lot to carry, and I’m really glad you’ve reached out.

    I can only imagine how frightening and painful it must be to watch your daughter go through this. You’ve already shown so much strength in supporting her through years of illness, and I’m sure your love and care mean the world to her.

    Please remember that you’re not alone in feeling the way you do. Many of our members have faced similar challenges and would be more than happy to offer their experiences, particularly around stomas or supporting a loved one through tough times. Sometimes, just talking with others who understand can bring a bit of comfort.

    As you both navigate these next steps, please be kind to yourself and take the time you need to process everything. And whenever you're ready, this community will be here for both of you.

    Sending you both strength, and hoping for peace as you move forward.

    All the best,
    Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Thankyou, your kind and sympathetic words do help....