Struggling with partners non-hodgkins lymphoma diagnosis

Hi, my partner has been diagnosed with low grade NHL and it was a total shock to us both. He has been put on “wait & see” told to go and live his life, stay as healthy as he can  and they will monitor him. My partner is coming to terms with it and carrying on with life. I feel awful because I’m a bit of a wreck. All I can think of is the worst case scenario -even after reading all the literature. I’m trying to keep busy and occupy my time but I feel like I am all consumed by this and it’s taking over my thoughts and making me feel ill. I already have counselling for anxiety and had got a lid on things but I’m scared I’m going to go back down the anxiety rabbit hole. How do others cope ? I am feeling so very guilty as it’s not about me it’s my partner who has been diagnosed. It’s the uncertainty of not knowing if or when he will require treatment but I understand no one can provide those answers or reassurance & when I read about situations others are in I feel extremely guilty. Can anyone share how they cope/coped because I want to support my partner 100% & if I make myself ill I can’t. I also don’t want to let him know how anxious I am feeling. Thank you so much for reading this 

  • Welcome to the forum Nia although I'm sorry to hear your partner has been diagnosed with low grade NHL.

    Coping and supporting someone with cancer can be very difficult. It not only has a huge impact on the person that's been diagnosed but also the people around them so try not to be too hard on yourself for how you are feeling at the moment as it's only natural to find yourself contending with such emotional and complex thoughts.

    This must be a very challenging time for you both, especially as you both try and find a way to adjust to the 'wait and see' approach, but I hope it helps to know that you are not alone as so many of our members will know what you're going through and hopefully it won't be long until some of them stop by to offer their support and advice.

    I hope you'll find the information I've included to be useful but if you'd like to discuss any of this with one of our cancer nurses, they're available on 0808 800 4040. Their phone lines are open Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m and they'll do all that they can to answer any questions you may have and put your mind at ease as you move forward on this journey.

    Take care of yourself Nia and remember that we will always be here for you.

    Best wishes to you both,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hi Nia.  In your situation, I think it might help me to draw up a specific plan to maintain a healthy lifestyle.  I would try and pin down the Drs as to exactly what they mean by a healthy lifestyle.  Eg f it involved a healthy diet,  I would be tempted to get a referral to a dietitian, so I could get advice from an expert.  I would check if my husband was getting the maximum of monitoring possible.  If I could get more by going privately and if I could afford it, I'd be tempted   

    I think these things would help us feel in control and that I was being proactive in tackling the problem 

    Hope that helps

  • My husband has low grade NHL it is very difficult to understand and come to terms with why they don’t treat it initially but over time it will become the new norm.  He was on watch and wait for 2 years until lymph nodes in his neck made it difficult to swallow he has now started tablet form of chemo which he will be on for the rest of his life, chemo is working, lymph nodes have disappeared and is living a normal life.  Hope this helps any questions please don’t hesitate to ask,