I can sympathise with you Salstaps......my husband was diagnosed with brain tumors in September and up until 3 weeks ago he was his usual self......now he has got so down and moody....he can act normally with other people but when no one here I might as well not exist......it's not easy and a lot of people don't understand

It’s just really hard and I feel so helpless as there is nothing I can do. He can be fine one minute and then just c9mpletely change. He then gets ashamed of his behaviour and this upsets him.. lLike your husband mine is also down and just cannot see that they are treating the cancer and it wont be forever and yes people not going through it find it hard to 7nderstand.

Yes and helplessness is the hard part......and I suppose it is hard for them to see an end to it all.....has your husband been told he will recover?

Mine was told it was terminal but that's all the information we got

Do you have family close by.....although your probably like myself you don't want to burden them.......I have found that there really isn't a lot of help for partners of someone going through cancer....we just have to get on with it

I’m so sorry you have been told it’s terminal that is my worst nightmare, sending you hugs xx

They’ve given my husband 6 months of chemo and are assessing things halfway through so at the moment I’m taking it that they think it can be treated. The trouble with him is he is a very active man, he’s always played sport, he works for the police etc so he has always been on the go and to suddenly not have enough energy to even walk upstairs I can only imagine. He has also lost all of his muscle and hates seeing himself as a “bag of bones” - his words not mine. He also finds it embarrassing that I have to help him after a shower or to get dressed - he hates it.

i do have family I still have my dad, my girls are grown up and have their own lives so  I try not to burden them too much but they are so good. My friends as well have been a god send and although I feel really guilty for saying it I actually enjoy going into work just to get that break. My colleagues are also very good they let me talk, vent, cry etc and having that support has really helped me. What about yourself do you have a good network around you x

It's sad for him....but it's sadder on you because like myself your getting the brunt of it......and I understand you not wanting to burden your children.....but remember they can leave you have to stay.....you talk about leaving the room.....I feel like leaving the country lol......I don't really have a network around me.....he has kids from a previous marriage but they float in and out as it suits them.....I'm also a carer for my disabled sister

And I wouldn't feel guilty about going into work.....it's a bit of normality in a horrible world......I'm glad of the same although at times it's hard