if I'm not there with her while she's having treatment but genuinely I'm a little scared to see her during her treatments 

Hi skistar, 

It's a tricky one really and I can completely understand why you are feeling torn and it's really hard to know what the best thing to do is in this case; it's a very personal decision. It's bad luck really that her treatment is starting just before your February half term trip to Slovakia - sounds like an exciting yearly family event! It's totally understandable that your dad has decided to stay home to be near her so that she is not alone if she experiences any harsh side effects. Your mum sounds like a lovely person wanting you and your dad to still go and enjoy this holiday despite the fact that she cannot go herself this year. And she seems to be keen for you to go and have fun and try not to feel too guilty as you know she won't be alone and your dad will be there. Perhaps you could try and talk to your dad when you have a moment on your own with him and have an honest conversation about what he thinks the best course of action would be. Tell him exactly what you are feeling, that you feel guilty not to be there while she is having treatment but that you also love this holiday and therefore are not sure what you should do and that ultimately you want to do what is best for everyone. 

Some members of our community may have encountered a similar situation and I hope that they will drop by shortly and give you their thoughts on the difficult decision you are having to take. 

Whatever you decide or end up doing, what I really hope is that this time next year your mum will be further ahead in treatment and hopefully better so that you can all enjoy this amazing holiday in Slovakia all together again. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator