What is a valid reaction? Just got back from holiday and found out my dad has bladder cancer

Hi all,

I never imagined having to write a post here as I suppose many do. I was away in America for a month with my boyfriend and while I was having the time of my life my dad was diagnosed with bladder cancer. 

I had quire literally just stepped off the plane when they told me about his diagnosis and an upcoming surgery. I reacted in a sort of normal way? I don't know it was more of a oh that doesn't sound great reaction but then we moved on from conversation.

Since then we haven't discussed it. Nobody talks about it like it Is an enigma in the house which is to be flushed out but while they have had time to cope with the news I have just been told. I am struggling to sleep and now I am just constantly thinking the worst. My boyfriend isn't good at sympathising with things like this so it's hard to discuss it, but he tries. However I feel alone and don't want to bring it up to my parents as they have alot on their plate already. It is isolating and overwhelming but I'm not sure what the steps to coping are or what a valid reaction to this is. 

I suppose I'm hoping for answers or reassurance but I'm not entirely sure. Anything is appreciated.

Frop

  • Hi Frop and welcome to the Cancer Chat community.

    I'm sorry to hear your dad has been diagnosed with bladder cancer. Finding out someone has cancer is a lot to process and can bring about a whole host of emotions, so how you are reacting is completely normal, and valid Frop. In fact, a lot of our members have felt exactly the same, so you are not alone, and hopefully it won't be long until you receive some support and advice.

    I hope this further information on how to cope when someone has cancer will be useful, but if you'd like to talk things through with one of our cancer nurses, they're available on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m. They will do all they can to support you and address any other questions or concerns you may have time.

    We're here for you Frop and wishing your dad all the best with his surgery when the time comes.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator