Ex partner starting chemo worried he won’t see children

I’ve recently separated from my partner, it was an abusive situation and I left with two young children aged 3&7. We were doing well and agreed ex would have them two nights a week and then he got diagnosed with stage 3 lymphoma with chemo starting. He’s no longer working which is positive as it was night work and meant the kids saw him on different days. He since said all being ok with how he feels he could have them on more regular days say the weekend or whatever we agree. Since this he’s booked events such as gigs and overnight stays with his new partner in london for a few of the weekends over the months without discussion. I don’t want to be horrible to him despite our relationship, I still want him to be ok but I feel like he’s placing time away over having his children. If I bring it up it seems like I am being unreasonable as he has a cancer. I’m just finding it incredibly difficult having no stability with his plans and our children and want to know how others have managed custody whilst obviously having the weight of a big diagnosis and treatment. I think he should still try to see them if he can with support from family who live by him and that he can do all the fun stuff but not at the expense of seeing his children. Am I being unreasonable? 

  • Hello Kiki6896

    I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like it's been a difficult time for everyone and it's understandable that you want to ensure the children's needs are met. 

    As a cancer forum, it's difficult for us to offer advice on your relationship but I wonder if there is a mutual friend or family member that could mediate between the two of you to work out the best way forward for the children whilst their father is going through treatment. 

    I do hope that you're able to find a solution that improves things for everyone. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator