Hi, i have a concern about my mother , she is 79 years old and she's been recently diagnosed with a breast lump and was diagnosed with breast cancer positive type 3 just a month ago.

we had an appointment yesterday with an oncologist and we have been told due to her age and the fact she suffers from dementia and she is not able to make decisions she cant have a mastectomy due to the fact there will be side effects during the recuperation such as pain , bleeding and a defect breast . However i am sure if my mother was able to make decisions she would want this surgery done and most of all better chances of survival as we've been told the surgery is definetly the golden survival option , rather than tablets . she's been taking hormonal tablets but we have been told the tablets are less effective compared to the surgery and the place she has the lump is not even deepen in the mamary breast is almost close to the edge of the breast , so i believe it would be a case of a superficial lump removal , not even affecting the mamary gland.

we have been told that the fact the lump is removed there will still be chances it wont be removed completly but we always consider the option of going ahead with the surgery and take the risk rather than just leave it as it is and having the risks of her just being on the tablets which are worse risks than having no surgery at all performed , as the risks seem to be higher , we were told the tablets might not stop the lump from growing and ocorruing on other vital organs .

the oncologist sems concerned with a defected breast or surgery recovery side effects when its the survival that we are concerned the most about it , it seems for these doctors a person being old and the fact she has dementia and is not fully aware of her surroundings is a reason to put a patient down their chances of survival and yet i know about some other people who had surgeries in other European countries regardless of their age , everyone or most people around the age of 79 will suffer from dementia , this is just common at this age but to me not a reason to put someone down from their chances of survival , i am her guardian and responsible for her and she might not process the information at her age but i know that is what she would want , i mean is just common sence to me . the fact she will get a deformed breast that at her age wouldnt be so relevant compared to losing her life . i mean theres loads of people who ended up losing a leg or having other deformities as a result of the need of getting surgeries but at least they are still alive right ? so does it mean anyone who is at risk of becoming disable from an accident or having a surgery should be put down or be refused the best treatments even if we consider paying for a private mastectomy ? or just because they are old ? it seems very unfair to me . She just been recently diagnosed with this cancer and its not an advanced cancer , 3 years ago she had a mamography and she didnt have any lump so i presumed its been detected in the first initial phase cancer . i have a friend of mine whos mother is about the same age as my mother and she live abroad and doesnt have any lumps anymore , she had chemio treatments and possibly a mastectomy . i am aware the cancer can re-ocurr even after having a mastectomy or just a removal of the lump but i believe is still better to take the risk in any cirscumtance and have a surgery , there will be better chances of survival or at least attempt to than just leave it to the faith and just stick with the tablets ? which is the min treatment option available ? i was told my mother cant even have chemio due to having dementia and her age . so left with some tablets to take and the hope that she can survive but we dont know if she will be able to survive , i dont think this is good enough , when there are other options available .

i would like some advise please . thank you