Cancer Research UK main site
  • Replies 2 replies
  • Views 2348 views
  • Users 0 members are here

Caring for someone refusing treatment

Hpg
Offline

My FIL is extremely unwell but refusing any type of help and intervention. We managed to get a GP to visit who said they cannot formally diagnose without scans and proper tests but from what they are seeing and his symptoms it is very likely advance bowel or pancreatic cancer. We dont feel he has very long left. He wants no treatment and refuses to go into a hospital or hospice. We don't know how to care for him at home when we have no idea what we are dealing with. He has agreed to come to our home. I want him to be comfortable but I am frightened about how we can provide the care he needs without a proper diagnosis. I am also worried about how best to protect our children. We are completely lost.

Parents
  • Offline

    Hi HPG,

    I can imagine what you’re going through as my own FIL had a similar attitude (not quite as extreme) with a different untreated physical health issue.
    After months of stress, he was also diagnosed with vascular dementia and deemed to be lacking the mental capacity to make decisions about his own healthcare during a “Best Interests” meeting organised by Social Services.
    If there’s a suspicion that your FIL has some sort of dementia or a mental health condition, it might be best to get some professional help. He’ll probably hate you for it, but it may be for his own good. 

    Best wishes
    Dave

Reply
  • Offline

    Hi HPG,

    I can imagine what you’re going through as my own FIL had a similar attitude (not quite as extreme) with a different untreated physical health issue.
    After months of stress, he was also diagnosed with vascular dementia and deemed to be lacking the mental capacity to make decisions about his own healthcare during a “Best Interests” meeting organised by Social Services.
    If there’s a suspicion that your FIL has some sort of dementia or a mental health condition, it might be best to get some professional help. He’ll probably hate you for it, but it may be for his own good. 

    Best wishes
    Dave

Children
No Data

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.