My son is 44 years old. He has stage 4 bowel cancer, diagnosed in March 2024. He’s had ten rounds of chemo which has shrunk his bowel tumour very slightly and reduced his 30 liver tumours to twenty.
His (let’s call him Ross) wife left him shortly after his diagnosis and his dad and I (mum) have moved in with Ross to help him run his pub.
One of my problems is that Ross refuses to talk about his cancer to anyone. He makes jokes about it to his friends, but I worry that he won’t or can’t tell anyone how he really feels. At the moment he’s trying to live life to the full, having mentally compiled a bucket list of things he’s always wanted to do. It seems to me like he’s given up and I can’t bear it.
incidentally whenever he comes back from his ‘jaunts’ he is always exhausted and I’ll; to the point of having low platelets and having to miss chemotherapy sessions. Part of me is glad that he’s having a great time and the other part of me is terrified that he’s making himself more ill. Everyone who will listen to my fears gives me what they think I want to hear such as, “They can work miracles these days” and “Good for him”. I’m grieving and I haven’t even lost him… yet.
Has any mother who has been through this share some coping techniques- if there are any?
