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My Dad is terminal

Hsau21
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This is not a path in my life I thought I would be walking down. My Dad, my world just turned 62, Healthy, runs three times a week.On  Friday 13th September found out he has bowel cancer, after scans spots found on his liver and yesterday confirmed spots on lungs too and he is now terminal! What does that mean? He has weeks? Months?  There is a 8/9 week wait for him to be seen again!! I feel that as he's terminal that they aren't bothered about helping him, giving him more time. My mind is in over drive, where do I find my strength to make the most of the time I have left with him. 

Many thanks for reading 

Hayley 

  • Hello Hayley

    I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad's diagnosis. Hearing that a loved one has incurable cancer can be incredibly difficult news to receive and it's understandable that your mind is in overdrive. 

    It sounds as if you have been left with lots of unanswered questions after the most recent appointment. This isn't uncommon and hopefully you will get more clarity when your Dad sees the team next. 

    You mentioned that there's an 8-9 week wait for his next appointment. Is this with the same team? Or is he being referred to another specialist? If this appointment is with a new department, you can always give them a call and let them know that your Dad is available if a cancellation becomes available at short notice. 

    I don't know if your Dad was given the contact details for a specialist cancer nurse? They are also a useful point of contact so don't be afraid to get in touch with them Hayley if you have questions about your Dad's appointments. 

    Here at Cancer Research UK, we have a team of nurses you can call for advice and support. I know they will be happy to listen and offer any information and guidance they can. They're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. 

    In the meantime, I hope that you and your Dad are able to make some plans to spend some time together and enjoy the things that you've always enjoyed doing together. 

    Keep in touch Hayley and let us know how you're both doing. 

    My best wishes to you both, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

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    Hi Hayley,

    Ive just joined this forum as I’m going through a similar situation. I’m so sorry about your dad. My mum has stage 4 bowel cancer and we also felt the doctors weren’t bothered about giving her more time. We didn’t want to wait for an NHS appointment so we googled the name of her oncologist and found he did private clinics. So we booked her for a private appointment within a couple of days. It’s about £250, which is a lot of money, but we found we got more answers, so was worth it. Hope that helps.

    Laura x 

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    Hi Hayley,

    Forgot to say, my mums oncologist also works on the NHS, so after the private appointment, he then referred her to his NHS clinic. (So only had to pay for the initial private consultation). 

    Laura x 

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