Hello Kim21, 

It's not at all an easy role being a carer and it's important that you don't forget to also look after yourself whilst taking care of your sister's wellbeing. Don't feel bad about feeling this way - it's normal that you feel affected by this and frustrated given everything you are doing and it must be mentally and physically exhausting for you. There is really good information on our website for family, friends and carers which will give you some good tips on how to support someone with cancer; there is even a little video with tips from people with cancer about talking to someone with cancer. It's also important for the carer to take care of himself/herself and we have useful information too on taking care of yourself , recharging your own batteries so that you feel better to then look after your sister. You will find there some good suggestions too on being a good listener. It sounds like your sister is withdrawing a little as a result of her cancer treatment perhaps or anxiety and if you can try and talk to her and try and find out why they are feeling this way and if there is anything you can do to help. If she persists in refusing food or drink, it might be worth talking to her medical team about this as it's important she stays well hydrated and keeps eating well if possible. 

It's not an easy position you are in and it takes a lot of courage so well done for everything you are doing for your sister. There are many organisations providing support for carers as for example CarersUK  which gives information and support to carers on many issues so I think it might be beneficial to contact them, explain your situation and get some advice. They also have local groups all over the UK so don't hesitate to get in touch with them for some guidance and support. 

If you would like to talk things through with our cancer nurses, they have a helpline you can ring on 0808 800 4040 - it is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm. 

I hope that things improve very soon for your sister and that she manages to communicate well with you on how she is feeling and that she perks up a little and starts eating and drinking properly again so that she can resume her treatment, complete her chemotherapy and start the radiotherapy. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator