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Telling employer (I'm a teacher) that my mum has cancer

Teacher86
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Hi,

Looking for advice. On Friday we found out that my 73 year old mum has a rare blood cancer which is incurable. I live with her, and it's just the two of us.

I plan to be available to take her to appointments and continue caring for her (She's quite able, currently I'm just her driver and company to chat to, but I want to be prepared for any effects from the chemotherapy etc.)

I am a teacher in a secondary school, and want advice on how to go about telling my employer that we've had this bad news. That I might need a few hours here and there to take her to appointments, and that my mood is low. I want to be fairly clinical and professional to avoid bursting into tears when telling them too. 

Is anyone else hear a teacher that has had to care for a parent? I would appreciate any advice.

  • A very warm welcome to the forum Teacher86 although I'm sorry to hear about your mum.

    This must be a very difficult time, but our community are here for you Teacher and I'm sure it won't be long until some of our members stop by to offer their support and advice.

    Although this information is aimed at a person with cancer, I hope you will still find some of the tips and advice useful on how to tell your employer. 

    We're thinking of you Teacher and wishing you all the best when you speak to your employer, as well as to your mum when she starts her treatment.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Steph

    Hi, 

    Sadly, my Mum passed away in July. Her lung cancer diagnosis was 2 years ago. I don't think I acknowledged the severity of Cancer and what this meant for my Mum. 

    I'm a teacher, I didn't tell my employer until the last few weeks of Mums life. I work and have 3 children. I didn't attend any of Mums appointments, she never asked and she was so independent and took it all in her stride. I wish now, obviously far too late, that maybe I should have. My Mum hid how unwell she was for a long time, I know this was to protect me (I'm an only child) and she travelled back and fourth to her own appointments for 2 years - all on her own, she was so brave, but this makes me so sad now.

    Please tell your employer,  I hope that they are as understanding as my head teacher was. Looking back, I could have asked for time off sooner -  being a teacher we feel guilty for doing that - and I would have understood more about what Mum was going through.

    If you cry, you cry. You are only human and it shows how much you love and care for your Mum. 

  • Offline

    I am a teacher, primary, and had to speak to my head about  having time off to spend with my mum during her op for womb cancer. I spoke to him as soon as I knew the situation and he was brilliant and said that as soon as I had a date let him know and we could come with a plan. Hopefully your head will be as understanding. He said he knows that this kind of situation arises as families age. Good luck. Teachers spend all day showing empathy and kindness to others, I am sure you will receive some back now you need some yourself.

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