Hi All

I am posting this as I genuinely don't know where else to turn.

I had cancer 5 years ago, and was successfully treated for it.  I thought my husband was supportive and caring at the time, but turns out he was just waiting to use it against me.

Our marriage has never been perfect (nearly 20 years), and we've argued a lot, nearly splitting a couple of times in the past. Not sure if I can get past this latest though.  We've been having issues again lately, with a lot of controlling and bullying behaviour toward me.  Met with a relationship counsellor and one of the things he said rocked me to the core.  He told her he nearly left me five years ago but didn't because of my diagnosis.

This just not true.  We had been arguing at the time, and I nearly threw him out but didn't because I got ill and it took over my life, my career almost went down the pan and I was told that if I didn't get treatment I'd be dead in a year.

So he has now made himself out to be such a great person, and the counsellor thinks he sacrificed his happiness to look after his cancer wife.  He has effectively weaponised my cancer to make himself out to be such a great person, when he's actually gaslighted both me and the counsellor.   I can't stop crying because it's brought everything related to the cancer back up yo the surface again, and I feel like a fool for not ending it 5 years ago.

Am I being the ***?

Tez