Hello Neil_is_worried, 

Your partner seems to have been through a lot recently and I hope she is recovered now from the pneumonia. It's normal for you to be worried as you clearly care about her deeply and I hope that you can communicate about what is going on. It's a difficult balance to strike sometimes between talking things through and asking her what is going on and giving her the space she needs. You can try and reassure her that the illness won't be a burden for you and that you want to be around to care for her; it sounds like you have had a great three years together and I hope that she will open up a bit more about how she is feeling and that this will in the end bring you closer together. 

I have come across other stories like yours on the forum so it is sadly a fairly common occurrence that cancer will make some people withdraw a little in their shell and this can result in distancing oneself from a partner or loved ones especially when the news hits you. I hope that your partner can also seek help for her depression and perhaps talk to a GP about how this has been affecting her. 

You did the right thing in coming here and sharing your story with us; hopefully it will strike a chord with others here who have experienced something similar, whose partner pushed them away or perhaps we can also get to hear from the experiences of a cancer patient who felt the need to distance themselves a little from their partner after the shock of a cancer diagnosis. 

We're all here for you anytime you need to offload - I hope that things get better and that you can support your partner and that she feels ready soon to embrace that love and support you are offering her. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Thanks. We've had a very long and deep chat. It was good for both of us, and we've agreed to be more open about our worries going forward.

For anyone else, it is always good to talk; it's even better to listen.