Bless him sorry to read this . It sounds like he is trying to protect and shield you and your feelings, he wants you to enjoy your birthday treat still . If it’s at the start of his treatment then he wouldn’t feel to bad to begin with . Could someone like his mum and sister be there . It’s only 4 nights . You can ring and FaceTime . Send him pictures and videos. I would go it’s what he wanted original 

 Gillm it doesn’t sound harsh sorry to hear you had cancer and now your partner has cancer . I’m on end of life care .and I have met someone on here who also has cancer . I always tell him to go out and have a nice time. When I really want him to Carry on messaging me and talk to me I feel I’m being Selfie . I know it’s different to being With someone. He doesn’t know his prognosis yet x 

This really is a case of caught between a rock and a hard place. In your place, I'd opt to be with my partner, regardless of what she said. But that's just me. Going into treatment (chemo etc) is a very scary place mentally, especially if it's the first treatment. We all have preconceived ideas how awful chemo is, and the not knowing is the worst of the worst. After the first treatment, things settle down on the mental front.

If you decide to go, no one should judge you. That's a decision to be made between you and your partner. No one else. But yeah, regardless of what your partner is saying, he will be bricking it. Almost everyone does before their first chemo. Then there's also the slim chance he may take an adverse reaction to one of the drugs, which some people do. But this is something you won't know until after the first infusion. For my own peace of mind, I'd want to be there just in case, and could do without the scrambling to get back to her should something have happened.

Good advice again ProfBaw  you are a wish man , hope you wife and your father-in-law are ok x

Sorry I can see a mistake I meant Selfish 

i do not think it worth you going as you will not enjoy it x and deep down he more likely trying do right by you x just tell him truth it will not be enjoyable at this kind of time xxx 

Hi HayleyJo83

I just finished a course of radiotherapy with chemo. My chemo was just once a week, the radiotherapy 5 days a week. My husband was with me. If we were in the situation you're in I would have wanted him to go on holiday and asked a family member to come with me for my treatment. A few weeks into treatment I felt my husband needed a break so my sister stayed with me while he went away for a few days. That was right for us in our circumstances and although he resisted a  bit, I insisted.

I think the only issue is whether you could put any feelings of guilt aside and enjoy your break. If not then maybe postponing is the right choice. Just do what feels right for you, but if he really wants you to go then believe him.