I'm 15. I have been emotionally abused by multiple people and struggle to show emotion now. I came home from school one day and my mum, dad and sister were sat in the front room crying. My mum told me to sit down, me expecting someone had died asked "who died then?" as a joke but then my mum told me she had breast cancer. I was unfazed. Nothing came out accept a calm and simple "ok". I told my girlfriend who didn't belive me at first then started being sympathetic towards me. Still struggling to realise how bad it is, the next day I had a end of year test. Only then after I sat down and looked at my paper did it hit me. I sat there couple tears rolling down my face struggling to breathe. I just felt so alone.

My mums going through chemo now and when she started I was scared that her baldness would be a constant reminder for me that she has cancer. This happens but whenever I try to bring it up to her she hits me with the "so you're sad that I'm getting better?" and makes me feel worse. So with no way to express how I feel except to some friends and my girlfriend I guess I've come here.

Don't get me wrong I'm really happy she's getting better but it still hurts. I've been having more anger outbursts, eating and sleeping less and just getting worse as time goes on. I feel like I'm useless because I can help and if I can't help the people around me then that's selfish of me.

If anyone can help me please do. I'm scared. I'm really scared.