Husband was hit with Cancer stage 3 bowel cancer also in surrounding tissue. I became his full time care overnight and that's what he wants me to be and stay. I get the vows in sickness and in health I gave up my job to care for him especially during radiotherapy then chemotherapy it took it out-of him. He became closed off angry confused isolated. Everytime I mentioned  I felt like a skivvy there's no appreciation just demands on me. He says he will shame me to family that I feel that way as he's the one with cancer he's the one going through this. He says I'm selfish I should care for the kids the home and him I'm waiting on surgery on my abdomen and have rough days I feel off. But I don't have cancer so it's not the same his needs are paramount his recovery is everything. Am I wrong to feel *** off with him, he's been given all clear now and he's not changed, I have kids I need to stay on top of my health to help him and care for them. He's lazy sits there saying how hard done to he is he was stage 3 now after surgery he's been given the cancer free. Just needs check ups now, his fuse is short he's cut off and ignores the family sleeps on sofa. Watches his phone all day he's not who I married. I assumed after all clear all treatment was over he would be back to himself if possible the old him. He does have a Stoma he wants me to clean and change and make up his medical bag to take out stay on top of supplies. When they said last phase of treatment was a stoma or radiotherapy he chose a stoma. Its his body his choice he wanted me to shower him clean up if it leaks empty the poo bins. He won't do his teeth for months I have to force him to clean. I just want to cry I have asked his family to tell him about cleanliness and self care. He won't listen to me I'm just the home help. I'm loosing respect for him and I can't see how I'm supposed to look at him again the way I used to after how he's treated me and the kids in the past year. I thought he be happy all clear but he's more closed off than chemotherapy days like self pity he had cancer to begin with. I can't understand its took a year away from him, with treatment but he beat it and has the future to look forward to he just can't get past what happened yesterday. Talking therapy isn't an option for him he sees it as weakness to talk about problems or feelings. I tried when he was first diagnosed talk therapy he said your the type to need a head doctor and belittled me. I was having the therapy for bereavement after loosing my granddaughter and then his cancer diagnosis was alot to deal with.