Hi Anon, I hope you're doing fine. I know that's a stupid thing to say. I went through the very same thing with my mum and she passed away last Saturday. It hurts a lot. I was happy to know she was finally free and at peace but I miss her a lot.

I live in London and she lived in Italy. I spent the last 2 months literally going back and forth every 10-15 days. 

She got diagnosed with cancer on her kidney 7 years ago which got removed but had already spread by then. She went through a lot, from one pain to another, issues, all sorts. She even got COVID and was about to die, she got hospitalised for a month with the mask to help her to breath but these last two months were really bad, chemio stopped working and she started immunotherapy which after 2 sessions she could no longer do since cancer spread all over her bones.

I'm telling you this because you're not alone. I am still trying to figure out a way for a 'healthy grieving' I did and I'm doing my best, as I'm sure you are too. We have no control whatsoever we can just be there for them, making sure they stay as pain free as possible and please make sure you tell your dad everything you want him to know. That's important.

Sending you lots of love to you and your dad.