Dealing with sister’s diagnosis

Hi, I’m feeling overwhelmed by my sister’s breast cancer diagnosis especially as she is the youngest sibling at 53.  Her chemo starts next Tuesday and is apparently 3 in 1, whatever that means.  Her hair will fall out and she is likely to feel poorly.  After the 6 month chemo treatment, providing her tumours have shrunk, she will undergo a mastectomy and then radiotherapy.  It all sounds terrifying and I’m feeling so much guilt and can’t wrap my head around what I can do for her.  She on the other hand seems to be handling this so well but I’m scared it’s a coping mechanism as she never wants to bother anyone and so the family seem to be tiptoeing round the issue.  At the same time my 82 year old dad is living with terminal cancer and right now and I feel useless and scared that I’m falling apart when it’s not me that’s affected!  Any help would be much appreciated, thanks.

  • Hi, similar issues here but with my sister in law also 53yrs but it’s advanced bowel cancer that has spread to her brain and elsewhere. I’ve found that I’ve been “catastrophising’ pretty much everything since she was admitted to hospital on Sunday. From leaving lights on overnight to any member of the family driving anywhere! Over the past few days I’ve found that taking 30mins out here & there just to sit and process has been useful, plus weirdly, all those small self care rituals, or walking the dog, has just helped me filter the information. It’s too much to try to figure it all out in an instant - just allow yourself time. 

  • Thanks for the reply.  It always helps when you realise you’re not alone in your thoughts.  I feel as though I was spiralling earlier but a bit of time out to process has helped :)