Hi. I posted first time here about 2.5 years ago when I lost my mother to leukaemia. I adored her and due to the fact she was diagnosed at the age of 38 (I was 7 at the time), we did not get the chance to create many of the happy memories other people do. My father fell ill 10 years later to lymphoma. Our lives have been filled with hospitals, chemotherapy treatments, blood tests and waiting anxiously for the results, scans etc. I started injecting them for white blood cells etc. when I was 17 and my friends were going out for beers. I've been their daughter and mother at the same time. I am grateful that although they were ill all these years they were with us BUT I'm knackered. My father has again been diagnosed with cancer, bile duct this time. He's in the hospital and I'm doing shifts every day with my brother to be with him. We've just started 2 weeks ago and I'm already physically and emotionally destroyed. I'm 41 and I feel like I'm 70. I start to believe that's there's lucky and unlucky people, although I've always though we create our luck. I feel i'll be back in this group soon to talk about a diagnosis that next time will be for me... I'm exhausted. I've done therapy for years and years and I stopped just recently cause I'm angry. Spending a fortune what for in the end?!
