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Caring for my parent who is in another country

Daddypig
Offline

My mum lives in Ireland and had stage 3 Ovarian cancer that spread to the liver and bowel. 

She was operated on and it was a success,and all removed. 

That process started June 23, she beat it and we were finally getting her back, she even flew over to surprise me on my 50th birthday,  best present ever.

6 weeks back, on a routine scan a small shadow was found on her spleen, she then went for a  pet scan or pep scan 2 weeks back  we got the results this week and it has revealed it has spread to spine, hip, gallbladder and stomach lining as well.

She lives in Ireland and has a great support network around her,  but I unfortunately live here and I can't just drive to her etc. 

I am seriously worried that it has  spread so much so quickly that she will go downhill fast ( I have not, or will not say that to her , I am remaining upbeat every day i speak to her) 

She is going to the oncologist next week to discuss potential treatment options,  but I'm worried that the treatment will affect her quality of life and I'm nowhere near her

I made the fatal error of using Google and saw this type of cancer can spread to the brain and just melted, on the plus point I also found this website,  

Being a man from a certain age group,  we don't cry or talk about stuff,so I can't tell those close to me anything,  have to remain strong. 

But I don't know what to do,   or when to go over there,  , or what she will go through,  

I know that no one can  say what will happen,  but I just feel helpless and l just don't know

  • Hi Daddypig,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. I'm very sorry to hear of the situation with your mum, this sounds like a lot to deal with, and particularly with the unknowns at the moment.

    It sounds like you are still waiting to hear more regarding the treatment options and next steps. Hopefully once you get this information it will help a little with understanding what to potentially expect.

    I'm not sure if you are in contact with people around her - some of the support network you mention - and if so then hopefully you can keep in touch with them, especially if it feels difficult to speak to your mum about some things.

    I understand what you say about not talking to others, but it's important to get support for yourself wherever you can. Ideally you would speak to some others around you, and do remember this forum is always here if ever you need it too. It's a supportive community and hopefully it will help to reach out to others.

    You are also welcome to call our nurses if you'd like to talk things through at any point. You can reach them on freephone 0808 800 4040 - Monday-Friday, 9-5.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Ben

    Thanks for your response.  

    You have mo idea how much that means. 

    Ty 

  • Offline in reply to Daddypig

    Hi Daddypig

    Its been a while since your post so things with your Mum may have moved on 

    Just know you can talk on hear if nowhere else and you are not alone 

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