Hello VC30, 

I am so sorry your mum died suddenly very young and that you are now having to watch your dad die slowly with metastatic bowel cancer. This is truly heart-breaking and he sounds like a real fighter but it must be so hard to see him get frailer week after week. I hope that he gets to enjoy many more days with you and his grandsons. This is bound to be a really anxious and stressful time for all the family and it's not unusual for situations like this to create family tensions sometimes when you have different opinions on simple things. Try to talk to your sister if you can and perhaps you can find a middle ground or come to an agreement. It's important to remember that it's often the emotional upheaval and exhaustion linked to what you are going through that can exacerbate these little family tensions but you are going through this together and I am sure care for one another very much. 

I hope that you can get a little bit of rest - as you say, you never really know how things will change from week to week and this must be really difficult for everyone. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and there are others here on this forum who are also looking after a loved one terminally ill with cancer. Our information for  Family, Friends and Carers has some helpful tips to help you support someone with cancer and also on making sure you take care of yourself as this is bound to be a very tiring time both physically and emotionally.. 

We're thinking of you during this difficult time. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator