Cancer Research UK main site

My Partner & Lung Cancer

AN72
Offline

My partner (we have been together thirty years) has Stage 3-B, non-small-cell lung cancer that was growing into his airway and he has just had a Y-shaped stent implanted to help him breath.

He is only 49 and is going through all the complex emotions (as am i) that accompany the terror of the rollarcoaster that is cancer.

We are waiting for his treatments to start and at least now he will be able to breath while having his radio/chemotherapy. He has a lot of fight in him but gets very deflated when he hears the statistics associated with the situation he's going through.

  • Hello An72

    I'm so sorry to hear that your partner has been diagnosed with lung cancer. It really is a rollercoaster when you're given a cancer diagnosis and I hope that you both have lots of support around you from family and friends as well as the health professionals. 

    It's good to hear that he's finding it easier to breathe since the stent was fitted. Hopefully, it won't be too long until treatment starts. It's good to hear that he's approaching this with a positive attitude but completely understandable that there are times when he feels deflated. Again, that rollercoaster really will take you both on an emotional ride. 

    Sometimes it can help to talk with someone about how you're feeling. It's worth asking his clinical nurse specialist what support is available in your local area. It may be that there is a Maggie's centre where you can access support or another similar organisation. If you'd like to talk with one of our nurses at any point you're welcome to call them on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm. I know they will be happy to listen and offer any advice, information, and support they can. 

    Keep in touch An72 and let us know how you're both doing. We're here to listen and offer any support we can. 

    Best wishes to you both, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Jenn

    The rollarcoaster ride continues.

    Nearly everything my partner reads is doom and gloom, and yet we've been told there are some really good targeted therapies out there. 

    He's still fighting but he's becoming more and more disheartened every day.

    He's starting radiotherapy on the 29th of this month and he's been fitted with a head/neck mould so they can target the cancer accurately. 

    I just don't know what to say to him when he has a bad day, apart from reassuring him that he's allowed to have bad days.

    I'm trying to be as positive as I can, but he gets so negative, it breaks my heart.

  • Offline

    Sounds like you're doing the right thing in reassuring him. First advice is never google stuff. If you have to read something, make sure it's a trusted and legitimate (NHS) source. I guess it's a balance between understanding and head in sand. For me, I only read up (or my wife did - she's medical) when the docs/nurses told me something and I wanted to know a bit more.

    But statistics are just that, don't fit everyone and you never can tell what is going to happen. Everyone is completely different. Although I'm a natural worrier, I had a positive outlook for fighting cancer - with my focus being able to enjoy spending time playing with my kids and being with my wife. We fought it together.

    I would try and get to him to focus on something post chemo/radio. But set targets for while he's having that treatment. I liked to tick of each day and it was nice to get to the end of the week (especially when i got 'weekends off' the oral chemo). He is defo going to have down days. But I'm absolutely convinced, a positive frame of mind to go with your fight is one of the biggest things you co do to beat cancer.

    Good luck with the battle - you CAN beat it :)

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.