My sister has acute leukemia and i cannot see her

My sister lives the other side of the country and has been diagnosed with acute leukemia a month ago, she was started on chemotherapy and platelets and has lost her hair already.she doesn't want to tell us what her length of treatment is or how its going and seems to want to go it alone.i feel so empty and just want to go see her but we are not allowed,how can i get her to open up and share this burden with me so i can help her through it and why doesnt she want to let us know anything,she wont even share things with our mother!i want to her with her and its breaking my heart that i cant be there.any advice out there please?

  • Hi Kitty

    I am so sorry to hear about what you and your family are going through.  I am wondering if your sister is trying to protect you and your mum from worry?  I know when my only sister was diagnosed with breast cancer, she was always trying to be upbeat with me, I was her little sister and she didnt want to upset me.  Its difficult when you dont live close to each other and you are relying on contact with phone, its hard to gauge how someone is really feeling.  With my sister, she was in a different country, so equally difficult.  I found that emailing her was better, she could respond to them when she wanted to (she was having chemo and suffered badly through it), and gradually over time she started opening up more, a lot of her emails were written in the middle of the night when the fears were at the worst.

    All I can suggest I that you email or write her a letter, telling her how you feel and that you want to support her and ask what you can do to help.  There is no guarantee that she will change her stance, but all you can do is keep trying, even if its a regular text just saying that you are thinking of her.

    All the best

    Annie

  • Thank you Annie for your repky its really helped

  • Hello Kitty 

    I hope your sister is feeling better. I know how your sister is feeling. Been there. I’m not sure if it’s the same but when I had my diagnosis I just removed myself from people. I attended treatments alone and did everything by myself. As much as possible I didn’t want to burden the people around me. And from my perspective I don’t want to make them feel that I’m vulnerable I still wanted to feel independent. Allow time to work its magic. Receiving the diagnosis is life changing, give her time to take it all in. Once everything is better for her physically, mentally and emotionally she’ll come around. Just let her know that you are there and will always be there for her. xx