Hi Bumble3,

I'm sorry to hear of the situation with your father in law, this sounds very difficult especially with the distance between yourselves. From what I gather from reading your post, you are looking for some guidance on how to speak to your in-laws about what is going on.

Hopefully you have been able to speak to your husband about this, so you can deal with and approach it together. It's difficult to advise exactly without knowing much about your relationships with each other. Perhaps you could start by speaking to your mother in law to see how she is getting on. As you say, starting the conversation is the hardest part, and once you have done that hopefully you can begin to speak to each other more and I hope that your father in law is able to speak too, and to accept the help and support.

If ever you have concerns about the care they are receiving and how they are coping, try to broach this with his doctor, if this is an option for you. You can also reach out to our team of cancer nurses for free on 0808 800 4040, available 9 to 5 Monday to Friday. For further guidance we have information on supporting someone with cancer on our website, which also includes a helpful video on how to talk to someone with cancer.

Hopefully you'll get some more replies to your post here soon from others with any thoughts to share. We are always here for support on the forum if ever you need it.

Wishing you all the best,

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator

Many thanks Ben, my husband and I are talking but it's hard as he hasn't had to go through the death of a close family member as I have. We keep in touch daily with his parents and will be seeing them in a couple if weeks time so will approach the subject then.