Is he going to cope with chemo

My Husband was recently diagnosed with inoperable stage 4 cancel.  It seems that the spread must have been there over three months ago which is when he had his scan.  He is due to start palliative chemo but he seems to be going downhill fast.   He isn’t right mentally lately, not at all.  I think sometimes he is delirious.  He sleeps most of the time or is living down and half asleep.  He can’t take even the slightest amount of stress., like me disagreeing with him or not doing everything exactly as he wants it.  He falls asleep in the middle of a sentence.  He gets extremely confused.  He is frail, weak and recently there are times his hands shake about uncontrollably.  He has lost 4 stone in weight and is hardly eating.  He has poor kidney function and diabetes.  Could he actually be too ill for chemo, he has lied to the doctor saying he is up and about but he most definitely isn’t and I’m afraid that if the doctor takes him at his word and goes ahead with the chemo it could actually do him severe harm.  There are times, especially early in the day when he seems his normal self so other people don’t see just how bad he actually is the rest of the time.  He tells me he doesn’t want to die in the hospital and I’m afraid of that happening if he has chemo if he isn’t strong enough to withstand it.

  • Hello Sally 375.  I am very sorry to hear what you and your husband are going through.  I went through chemo, and whilst it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, I have to say that neither was it a walk in the park.  I think that you need to tell your doctor exactly how ill your husband really is, and from there the doctor will decide what to do for the best.  I think that on occasions like this, we have to speak up for our loved ones when they can't (or won't) do it for themselves.  Best wishes to you, xx

  • Thanks for your reply Blue-girl.  I will try to do that.  Best wishes