My partner has pancreatic cancer which has spread.  It has always been palliative and he had 15 treatments of chemo which was gruelling . After a ct scan was told no more chemo and would probably have weeks or maybe months left to live . Quality of life has been poor.  After being where his nurse thought end of life he fought and now have life as hospital at home .15 weeks later after near end again his nurse said he needed to go in to our hospice loros where he is now barely able to speak or move but still his body carries on . Both our lifes have been on hold I have to be with him unless someone sits with him . Which is not often.  We are 2 families and his family have given little support.  . I'm exhausted emotionally drained.  He barely eats and sleeps a lot . So this am after I've had a sleep in bed knowing he is in a safe place I have just rung and he is sitting up and chatting to nurse seems he is still not letting go . I had counselling for anticipatory grief seems no end to it . I never wanted his life to end but I see how weak he is unable to do all the things he wants to and being washed by carers dignity gone . Heart breaking  cruel disease