Hi, I’m caring for my partner who has end stage lung cancer. It’s only been the last few weeks where he has declined rapidly and he’s now at the stage of needing to sleep most of the time, has no appetite. Palliative team told us his prognosis was ‘two weeks to a short month’ that was three weeks ago. He still insists on getting out of bed to the couch where he isn’t comfortable and in pain but will not consider equipment. As his condition deteriorates so does his moods which is perfectly understandable but very very difficult to take at times. Some of the things he can say are very hurtful and not necessary. I’m trying hard not to react but most days he has me in tears. We are very remote and although the healthcare team are very supportive he is a very private man who wants to do this his way.My family live 49 miles away and although his is local they do not want to know. Illness isn’t the cause of his difficult personality! 
I feel very isolated and lonely at the moment but he’s not well enough to leave for any length of time. 
I find myself starting to feel resentful and I’m so ashamed. I’ve no idea where these feelings are coming from or why now? I love my partner, he’s too young to die and my heart is breaking. He always apologises but don’t want my lasting memories to be guilt ridden! Anyone else feel this way?