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Devastated and scared about what the future holds. Husband has advanced bowel cancer, with secondaries in the peritoneum

Butterflygirl
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My husband was diagnosed with bowel cancer last August. He had Neo adjuvant chemo and then surgerey. His tumour was in his transverse colon it shrunk it and blasted the cancer in the lymph nodes. It was a tricky surgerey after being cancelled 4 times, it was done by full robotics with 2 surgeons, however the tumour was really stuck and they hit a blood vessel and they had to stem the bleeding, his surgerey in the end resulted in a ileostomy, permanent, unfortunately the surgeon has also told us my husband has secondaries in the peritoneum and also looks like lymph nodes. The surgeon then went on leave a week. My husband has been a trooper! Im his sole carer we have no children and I work full time. I am devastated  to see him go through this is heartbreaking. What we dont know is the outcome of the biopsies, his surgerey was only 3 weeks ago and results arent back yet. 

Yes!! I googled and its frightened the life out of me! Im praying there can be a good outcome but we are told hes palliative but what that picture looks like we dont know. I am thankful at least to be able to write this.

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    I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. I'm new to this site myself. I can relate my husband was diagnosed with a rare blood cancer he is only 39 years old and I am 35 and we have four young children under the age of 16 and we are devastated. I don't know how to feel or what to think at the moment i'm just lost in a very dark place we. My husband is my rock my best friend and my only support. Unfortunately I don't have a very nice extended family so I keep myself to myself and I don't really have any close friends who can support me. He has a bone marrow biopsy today and we're so very nervous and scared to death about the results which we won't get until a couple of weeks from now. I know my reply to your message is not much, but I'm praying for a good outcome for your husband, I want you to know that you're not alone, I know how you feel the frustration the fear of the unknown the stress the worry the exhaustion I feel it all. Wishing your husband a speedy recovery and a good outcome and a long and healthy happy life. Stay strong.

  • Offline in reply to Loved1

    Gosh so sorry to hear about your husband too. Goodness you have your hands full. My husband is older hes 60 a very young 60 and looks no where near. 

    We have no children but I have 2 brothers and 2 nephews in their 20s one married with 2 littke toddlers both girls. I have a sister in law 47 who is pallitive with breast cancer so its tough! The support I would normally get is from her. However, they all live away at least a 3 hr car journey. 

    My husbands family we dont have anything to do with. I came on here hoping I would find some support and a way to connect with others who also are going through similiar. Maybe not same diagnosis of our loved ones but the same emotions and feelings. I can only describe mine as you have yours. The fear and the unknown is immense. Your reply is precious and I think knowing that we can just put down our feelings in the blink of an eye helps. 

    I also want you to know you are not alone and send positive thoughts and prayers also for your outcome. 

    Ive been married 42 years this March and it feels like yesterday. When you have a good one its precious. I still work full time but im off on compassionate leave luckily my husband retired at 55. Si thats not a worry.

    Keep in touch Im a message away x

  • Offline in reply to Butterflygirl

    I too find myself in a similar situation. My husband was fit, healthy and working until last July when he was diagnosed with metastatic prostate cancer. He was then diagnosed in December with oesophageal cancer. He has been further complicated with a perforation of his oesophagus/ repeated admissions to hospital with haematemesis and a stroke secondary to medication they put him on to clot his blood. I feel he is disappearing in front of my eyes and can't believe how different our lives were a year ago. We also don't have much contact with extended family but I am fortunate to have 2 daughters 22 and 27 but you don't want to burden them as they are grieving the dad they had. It's such a lonely path to walk and I understand what you are going through. Just a day at a time or an hour at a time if that is all we can manage.

  • Offline in reply to Elpismon56

    Elpismon 56 oh what a lot! Its just horrid!! Im so sorry to hear this, your right its a day at a time, thats all it can be. I cant comprehend how much you have also been through. Its true also that trying to protect those we love is hard. I will pray for you and your husband as I pray for mine. I can see Inam and neither are you alone in this, but it feels so loneley, it feels like hell on earth! My work and GP are good which has helped in the long term but Im not sure how long work can be gracious. 

    Know that im only a message away xxx

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