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Overwhelmed with sadness and anger after my dad was told his oesophageal cancer has spread to his liver and lungs

Purplegirl
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My Dad was diagnosed in July 2022 with oesophageal cancer, he was given 3 months and has done exceptionally well to be here with various treatments, he until very recently has beaten the odds, unfortunately I have just found out today that the cancer has spread to his liver and lungs and his lymph nodes have doubled in size so very treatment options left, palliative chemo or no treatment basically.

Just wanted to vent really, I am overwhelmed with sadness, anger and I am broken hearted, knowing that my Dad probably won't make it to Christmas.  I just want to punch walls, scream and shout as im so angry inside, I know that he is still alive and I want to make as many memories as I can whilst we can, its the knowing that it's round the corner and I will be losing him is the most painful part 

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    Hello Purplegirl, 

    I am so sorry to hear about your dad that the cancer has spread to his liver and lungs and that as a result he has very few treatment options left. You've come to the right place to meet others who understand, perhaps better sometimes than your close friends, what you are going through because they have been in a similar place themselves. It's completely normal to be overwhelmed with sadness and anger after hearing sad news like that, to just want to punch walls and scream. You can do all this as much as you want on Cancer Chat and I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. 

    You are right to be wanting to make as many memories as you can and to cherish those precious moments together. Try not to think too much about things like prognosis or the timeframe he was given as this will vary from person to person and is often impossible to predict. It's truly heart-breaking and it's completely understandable that you are feeling overwhelmed with these emotions - so many members of our community will be able to relate to that and I will now let them come and say hello and share their stories with you. 

    We're thinking of you and your dad during this difficult time. I will slightly edit the title of your thread if you don't mind to add just a little more information and context so that it will hopefully attract more relevant replies. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator 

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Lucie

    Hi,

    my family are in a similar situation. My mum has been diagnosed with a significant oesophageal tumour and we’ve been told it’s probable it’s in her lungs. Waiting for a PET scan to confirm but we’ve been told to prepare ourselves. Palliative is the only option. It’s just so devastating. I just can’t imagine a life without my mum. I’ve never known a pain and a fear like this , but it must pale in comparison to how she feels. Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone and I’m so sorry for what your family are going through 

  • Offline in reply to Ailey

    Its such a helpless situation to be in, I completely understand your pain and the fear of losing your Mum, its such a strong feeling, its hard because I'm trying to be strong for my family and my siblings and of course my Dad, he must be going through all kinds of emotions, so I am trying to be extremely strong for him, but I am finding it increasingly more difficult with the current news, sounds really stupid but the way I've been dealing with it, like the cancer is not there, like he's fine, if there's nothing there, nothing to worry about, obviously I know deep down there is, but we all deal with it differently

  • Offline in reply to Purplegirl

    My brother is in the same position and I am sorry for your situation.  I too have realised after weeks of crying anger feeling alone but trying to be strung for him - the only way I can now go forwa d us to pretend he is okay.   I lost my other brother at only 51 so I am the only remaining member of our family. I feel selfish being upset when I wonder how the heck he is even getting up each day X x love to everyone on here ️

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