Hello Jack33, 

I am sorry to hear about your father in law's diagnosis of stage 4 prostate cancer and that it has now spread to his bones. Being given a prognosis of 2 to 6 months can be heart-breaking but try not to think too much about these estimates as they are not always accurate and try to make the most of every single day you have with him. It can be hard to know what to do or say in a situation like this - our information for family, friends and carers has an interesting section on how to support someone with cancer and you will find in there a nice little video on how to talk to someone with cancer put together by the voices of the cancer patients themselves. Being a good listener is important; you don’t need to have all the answers but just listening can be hugely helpful if he wants to open up or talk to you about how he is feeling. By the sounds of it, your father in law doesn't like to be fussed over as you said so all you can do really is simply be yourself with him and show him that you care and that you are there. Perhaps simply suggest to watch something together if he is into films or sports, bringing him or making him his favourite treat, sometimes small gestures can really go a long way. 

It's hard to know what to expect and how things will develop for him as it can be so unpredictable. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and I hope that I will be joined by other members of our community who have been through something similar before and looked after a loved one with cancer and they will know, better than anyone, what the best way to be around someone who is terminally ill, and how to talk to someone who is going through this. It's definitely not easy and there is not one magical recipe as no two people are the same, but I am sure your father in law knows how much he means to you and how much you care. 

Best wishes to you and your family during this difficult time, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Thank you Lucie. I really appreciate your answer and your helpful advice