Hello Clewer, 

You are absolutely not useless; you seem to be a wonderful friend and the fact you are coming here on this forum concerned about your friend shows simply how much you care about her. I can understand why she is devastated after finding out that there is a mass on her hip and they are no longer able to operate. Do you know if they will be able to offer surgery at a later stage or if there are other treatment options available to her? Perhaps they just need a little bit of time to investigate more closely this mass on her hip and determine what the next treatment steps might be. 

It's normal for a great friend like you to be feeling powerless in a situation like this and to feel frustrated that you don't live closer to her and are unable to help and support as much as you would like. I am sure you are already doing what you can, keeping in touch with her and showing her you are there to talk if she ever needs to reach out. 

Our website has information on how to support someone with cancer - you will find in there a lovely little video by cancer patients with suggestions on how to talk to someone with cancer. I am sure other members of our community will have some additional tips for you based on their individual stories and experiences and we hope that they will share these with you shortly. You may feel limited in what you can do but you seem to be a really thoughtful friend and I am sure you will find ways to show your support to your friend even if you don't live in the same town. It's understandably a shock for your friend right now as the surgery didn't go ahead as planned and I hope that she is ok and finds out soon what her options will be. 

Best wishes to you and your friend, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator