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Lubyloo
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Hi, my partner has stage 4 incurable cancer, we are relatively young with one teenage child. It’s 18 months into diagnosis and things are ok, partner still working and trying to keep things as normal as possible but is recently having fewer good days then bad. It’s so difficult to watch. I’m doing everything I can to support but I feel like am watching the world go by as we live in fear and darkness. I know it sounds a little extreme, but does anyone else feel this way. I’m not the priority here, my partner is but I need to be in good mental health so I can get through this and help my family through this.

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    Hi. Firstly, I'm sorry you are going through this. My husband has bladder cancer. It's been a roller-coaster time. One day we're both fine, next day we're emotional wrecks. It the unknown that gets to me especially. I can't imagine how we're going to get through this, but I have to be strong for him. Its hard. And some days I feel angry more than upset. But then I sit and think that even though I'm angry, my husband is the one who needs me more than ever. I find that taking time to myself every day, even half an hour reading a book or listening to music, helps. 

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    Im so sorry to hear this, it’s so hard to be positive  or even function normally at times when you’re living in fear. Have you thought about speaking to someone at your local hospice? It sounds really scary but it’s not just for the dying, it’s for helping people with life limiting conditions to live well and also supports family. Everything you’re feeling is normal under the circumstances, but there are wonderful people who have a lot of experience in this area who can support you both, 

    Take care, JCL xx

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    So sorry to read this, I too am caring for my husband with stage 4 cancer. He was only diagnosed 5 weeks ago but told he may only have 6 weeks without treatment. He has deteriorated rapidly while waiting and I’m feeling very much like you. Make sure you take time for you, this is your battle too and you will need to be strong. We will get through this x

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    Hey, i am so sorry to hear ur news! Such a an awful time for u all. U are right a good mental state will help u but if im honest, we lost my dad at 62 just two years ago to bowel cancer and ive since learnt myself or mum were not in a good mental state i really dont think anything u do can trully help ur mental state, watching someone u love day by day become less and less of them selfs is just heart wrenching. 

    two years later we still grief, we still get angry, our mental state still suffers, be kind to urself ur loosing ur partner, im going through it again, mums just been diagnosed with cancer, if ever u need a chat from an unbiased person please message me, ur not alone (so cliche i know) xxx

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