Partner

My partner is pulling away. She has cancer . I don't know how to help 

  • Hi Bellecote1234,

    I'm sorry to hear this. Sometimes people can act differently in situations like this and it can be difficult to know how to support them. We have some guidance on our website about how to support someone with cancer, in case this is useful.

    You will know them best, so hopefully in time things will become more manageable and you will feel better able to support them, and that they can accept the support also.

    Hopefully you'll get some more replies here soon, particularly from others with similar experience or advice to offer. You may also find it helpful to search the forum for other relevant discussions.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hi Bellexote1234,

    Having just got through the worst of this ourselves I know how you feel. My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and there was definitely a tricky transition period where we were learning to accept the new normal. We found that having an air clearing chat at least once a week (if needed) helped to better understand how each other were feeling and what we needed from each other to cope with what was happening and what was coming. I had to learn a balance between showing that I was there for her without becoming accidently overbearing. There's always the worry that partners pull away because they don't want to be a burden to loved ones but a little reassurance goes a long way. As for how to help, I'd say keep the fun stuff coming while you can and try to find happy distractions so your partner can, if only for a little while, take their mind off what's happening.

    I hope any of this helps.