My husband has just had surgery to remove bowel cancer and was very shocked to wake up with a stoma bag as he had been told he probably wouldn't need one.  Although he is lucky in that it is a reversable loop ileostomy, he is very depressed and angry as this was the one thing he didn't want.  When I visited him the night of the surgery, he seemed really pleased to see me and there seemed to be an extra closeness between us.  In the days since then it's as if he is now pushing me away, it's got to the stage where I'm scared to phone him, he's put his ringer on silent with the excuse that he doesn't want to disturb the other patients in the ward, but in the past when he's been in hospital for two hip replacements, he was on the phone to me or his friends every five minutes, he's normally a very gregarious and chatty guy.  Has anyone else had the same kind of situation.  I want to help him in anyway I can, yet now I'm frightened to even try and contact him.