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Husband diagnosed with CLL

TJ3001
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My husband was diagnosed with CLL in January and it was quite a shock as he had only gone to the dentist.  He iscquite young to gave this as he's 55.

He's on watch and wait, his blood results show nothing of concern, he's no symptoms.  His only sign is a lump underneath his chin.

At the moment he's got a cold and his glands are swollen.  He phoned the hospital and they have said they aren't concerned as he has cold.  He has an appointment next week anyway.  

He is being off hand and a little nasty.  Such as he's on annual leave from work next week and he told he he was on annual leave at the end of the month she shouted at me saying I should know, his glands are up and he doesn't know how long he's got.

I know it's early days, but I'm also dealing with a son with cystic fibrosis and a Dad with dementia, I dlso work full time. I understand its his life we are on about but I feel he's not listening to the professionals.  They are saying he may never need treatment and if he does new drugs are coming along all the time.

It's only 6 weeks in and I'm struggling already.  He won't have counselling so I can't even suggest that.  Anyone got any advice please? 

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    Hello TJ3001, 

    I am sorry to hear about your husband's CLL diagnosis and it's good that he has an appointment next week so that they can check him properly. It sounds like all this is having an effect on his mood and it's making him a little short tempered which can't be easy for you to have to deal with especially as you are also having to look after a son with cystic fibrosis and a father who has dementia. You are having to do all this while also working full time - you are certainly carrying a lot on your shoulders at the moment and it must be frustrating for you if you feel he is not listening to the reassuring words of experts. 

    Counselling would have been a good idea - it's a shame he is not more receptive to this - perhaps you could ring his GP and mention how you are struggling with this, that he is reluctant to trying counselling and you could ask if there is anything else they could suggest to help him get through this difficult time. It sounds like he is still pretty much in shock following the diagnosis even if he is on watch and wait, his bloods are not currently concerning, there is probably this fear in him of the uncertainty. I hope that his doctor will be able to reassure him and that they will be able to help so that he gradually feels better.

    I would also suggest you give our cancer nurses a ring and talk things through with them. You can get in touch with them on this free number 0808 800 4040 - their line is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm. 

    I hope that you will hear from other members of our community who have been in a similar place or who have been affected by CLL. There is for example this thread by  who mentioned a year ago being diagnosed with CLL and who was also feeling rather down at the time even though it was also slow-progressing and with a watch and wait approach so this could be a good person for you to connect with. It helps to talk to others who find themselves or have found themselves in the same situation and I hope that you will find the support you need here - we are all here for you anytime you need to talk! 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

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