Hello WPETT, 

I am so sorry that you have been told that your mum's cancer is not curable but it's a small comfort that she is coping so well with the palliative chemotherapy treatment. I am glad that she is feeling well too - try not to pay too much attention to the prognosis they have given you as these are just average numbers and many individuals can defy - and have defied - these statistics. It's great that she is not feeling ill at all and that she has managed to stay active. 

It's difficult to know really or predict what to expect as different people will react differently to treatment and it seems like the palliative chemotherapy has been helpful to your mum and she has not suffered significant side effects. It might be worth discussing with your mum's medical team whether there is any chance they could prolong the treatment or whether this is definitely not an option after 2 years - do mention of course that she has been doing really well and coping well with the treatment. It might be a good idea too to discuss your situation with our cancer nurses who are available on this free number 0808 800 4040 - their helpline is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm. 

I hope that you will also hear from other members of our community who have been in a similar situation before and that they will have some helpful thoughts and suggestions to share with you. 

We're thinking of you and your mum during this difficult time and I wanted you to know that you are not alone and so many members of our community will relate to what you and your mum are going through at the moment. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi WPETT,

A very warm welcome to our forum.

I am sorry to hear of your Mum's prognosis and know just how difficult this is. I lost my own Mum to secondary breast cancer, which had spread to her brain, bone, liver and lungs.  She was diagnosed with primary cancer 12 years before this. Unfortunately, this happened 26 years ago, when there was no treatment available for her. Treatments have come a long way since then and we now have palliative chemo available. I am so glad to hear that this has already given you an additional year with your Mum and hope that it can give you both more time still.

As our moderator, Lucie, has said, the prognosis is "just average numbers" and at best a "guesstimate" of how long she has left. Whilst some people have gone sooner than this, there are many who have lived considerably longer. I do agree that it would be worth speaking to your Mum's care team, to see if there is any way that her chemo can be prolonged after 2 years, or whether there are any alternatives after that. I am so glad to hear that she has been coping well with her chemo and that she is not feeling ill at all. The most important thing to concentrate on at present, is in trying to make memories whilst you can. These are what you will hold deep in your heart, long after your Mum has gone.

My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Please keep in touch. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you Lucie. Xx

Hi WPETT,

I am glad to hear that you are trying to make memories. While she is well enough, this is also a great way of taking your mum's mind off all that is happening with her cancer. Do you have a date for her oncology review yet? You will find it helpful, if you both sit down together and draw up a list of any questions you have before this and write them down. I always do this before any appointment and take 2 copies with me - I give one to my hubby and, as I ask the questions, he writes down the answers. This should ensure that you don't forget to ask something important.

I hope that you get some answers soon.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you both.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx