Hi Fortinaspa,

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and would like to pass on our condolences. I'm also sorry to hear you had some trouble accessing the required medication, this sounds incredibly difficult.

We are always here for support if ever you need it, at this time or in the future, even if it's just to write things down or perhaps reach out to others.

If ever you'd like to explore additional support, have a look at Cruse, who have various resources available.

Take things slowly and take care of yourself and as I say, we're always here if you need it.

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Fortinaspa,

I am so sorry to hear that you have just lost your wife, after a 7 month battle with cancer. I was truly upset to hear how difficult you found it to get supplies of her medication, through your pharmacist - it is hard enough to deal with a situation like this, without having impediments like this placed in front of you. I sincerely hope that lessons have been learned by your experience.

I am also upset to hear you describe her 2 stays in hospital as horrendous. Was this because she had a bad reaction to chemo, or did you have other concerns?

I am thinking of you and sending you my Sincerest Sympathy.

Kindest regards,

Jolamine 

Hi Jolamine

Thank you for your lovely message.

When somebody close to you has been given the news of a terminal diagnosis our world fell apart.

If I detailed every horrible step I would be writing a Horror story.

My wife's second round of Chemo nearly killed her but talking that into consideration it might have stopped the suffering later on.. 

Then her second stay involved 7 or more bed moves ..totally unacceptable. I raised a PALS complaint form but it's like hitting your head against brick wall.

We decided to ask for a night sit in but the 4th night was a disaster. My wife was calling out distressed and the carer was fast asleep.

I could go on for ages but the whole journey was horrendous.

Best she is now pain free and with the Angel's.

Hi Fortinaspa,

I was going to suggest a PALS report, but am sorry that hasn't generated a worthwhile response. Would you consider taking this further and writing to your local health authority, or MP? Treatment like this is totally unacceptable and it should be highlighted to prevent it from happening again.

I has a similar experience when my mother was in the latter stages of her 12 year battle with secondary breast cancer - Like you, I had a long list, especially when she was in the hospice. It is not so much about raising a complaint, but abut highlighting the failures, so that others don't have to suffer in the same way. I have since had 2 bouts of breast cancer myself and cannot fault the NHS or the care that I have had in the past 14 years. Sadly, this is a service, which relies on individuals and, whilst some are excellent, others should never be in a caring position.

Like you, although I was incredibly sorry to see her go, I was also relieved for her, that she was no longer suffering and in pain. It is now 26 years since Mum died and I still miss her every day, but the overriding memories of her final days don't taunt me as they used to and I can at last recall happier memories. I hope that, with time, you will do too.

Kindest Regards,

Jolamine