Good evening. I have just joined the form.
My father (who would have been 101 this year!) died from prostate cancer in 2007. My husband and I promised him that none of his “girls” would ever go in a care home….(my mum, who passed in 2012 from stomach and liver cancer…I lived with her for a year). And then I have, who I call my stepmother (she was with my dad for 42 years until his death). It is complicated, but both women stuck by him!.
anyway, that is a quick synopsis of our story.
we have always known my stepmum and included her in our lives. She is known as nanna to my blood children. She moved to around half a mile from our house in 2021. She started having falls and forgot things were in the microwave and nearly burnt her house down. Suffice to say my husband and I moved in at Christmas 2021 to care for her. She was diagnosed with mixed dementia in November 2021.
The cancer on her scalp started as bowens disease and was treated with liquid nitrogen. After the lockdown, during which time she was unable to see her specialists, and the cancer had developed. She was transferred to the OFMS department and has had now 3 operations to attempt to remove the cancer. The last was aborted 2 weeks ago when her consultant and the anaesthetist came to tell me they had stopped as the cancer had eaten through the scalp and was now in the brain.
She is 88, thinks she is getting better and forgot that she has been discharged from OFMS. We are very lucky in that we are receiving help from community nurse every 2nd day. She is nice to their faces, but as soon as they have gone, she says she doesn’t know why they are involved, and I do a better job (even though I am not medically trained, I am not squeamish in the slightest). But, I do not know hope to cope any longer with her attempts to have me get rid of the medical team. Does anyone have ideas please.
thanks for listening