Don't know what to do

My 68 year old mum has been diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. She began her chemotherapy last week, with minimal negative side effects (thankfully), but ever since her diagnosis she has been doing nothing productive or healthy. 
I have been cooking, cleaning, doing the housework and caring for the dogs entirely on my own since before her diagnosis when the cancer caused her to develop fluid on the abdomen. And I fully am prepared to do the heavy lifting and lions share of the work, but things are getting out of hand now.

Her level of personal care and hygiene was low before, but now is almost non existent. Whenever I bring up the importance of her keeping clean and becoming more active, she verbally lashes out and then becomes non-responsive, covering her ears and  rocking back and forth and repeatedly muttering things like "Shut up, shut up" or "I don't need this." 

And to add to the situation, the house has a significant damp and mould problem that is beyond my ability to pay for, and she is either putting off or actively refusing contacting the housing insurance.

When I raise my concerns about her mental health to her, she again lashes out and refuses to contact (or let me contact for her), any mental health/therapy services or charities despite admitting that she has unresolved traumas and is "Just dealing with it.", despite her forgetting conversations a few minutes after having them, struggling with finding the correct common words and using an increasing amount of infantile language like "Drinked" as an example, when she never did before and struggling to comprehend basic steps in logic..

I'm getting to the end of my ability to cope. I wake up at 6am and don't sleep until 3am the following morning almost every day with my job and needing to do everything around the house. And when I tell her this, she says that she never asked me to do any of it. 

I don't expect her to fall to her knees and praise me as the best son to grace the earth, or get any sort of reward. I'm just not sure what to do when it seems like I'm the only person concerned with her wellbeing, and am being treated like a servant. 

  • Hi, so sorry about your mum’s diagnosis, do you think she isn’t coping well with the diagnosis of her cancer? 
    You said it is stage three, is it curable? 

    it may be worth (if you haven’t already) looking into some local support groups for you and your mum to help find the positive in not giving up and for you caring for her. 

  • Hopefully. She has two more rounds of Chemo before being assessed for surgery. If she doesn't get the surgery then, well...

    And as for support groups and such, she is viscerally against them or getting help from anyone. She is the sort to say that they are fine while a bear is chewing on their leg, just because they said that they could fight one.