In laws


My first post on here. 

Over the past 6 years on both mine and my husband's immediate family ( my mam and his dad) have both had cancer troubles. 

My mam was diagnosed operated and treated successfully for breast cancer in 2019

Unfortunately my husbands dad lost his battle in march 2020. 

It was a blow with either side of the family dealing with cancer in such as short space. 

My mam had also just started divorce proceedings from my dad.

My mam never told me she found a lump in her breast she told me husband so as she felt not to burden me at the time with everything else going off. My husband pushed my mam to get drs appointment and then further tests at hospital. 

He told me in the end and I really appreciated him telling me I was at the time furious my mam hasn't told me but over time I realised that even though she was ill she was trying to shield me. 

I'm getting to the reason why I'm now posting. 

My mil messaged last night with a picture of her leg and what looks like a colourless mole. 

My first thought was **** no here we go. Her sister has had past treatment for melanoma and mil moles removed that were suspect but negative. 

Now she is a nurse and I've told her to get it checked out to which she has an appointment today. Which in its self is a task. 

My issue is she won't tell my husband or my sil. 

Who when there dad was diagnosed were kept in the dark for alot of things and therefore never realised how ill dadnwas untill he was dying. 

What do I do.? She's asked me to stay schtum but I know how I felt on the other hand. I'm respecting her wishes for now but im torn as my husband won't be happy I've kept it from him. 

Sorry for the essay

  • Hello Kirsty1991 and welcome to Cancer Chat,

    I can understand that you are unsure about what to do, so you should have an honest discussion. It's important that she feels supported and comfortable, but you should let her know how you're feeling and that you don't want to keep secrets from your husband. There is information on caring for loved ones here, which you can refer to at any time.

    Best wishes to you,

    Moderator Anastasia